


Survivor or: A Compliment A Day Keeps the Bad Thoughts Away

by LucyInTheSkye



Series: Sirius x Remus [27]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Body Worship, Come Eating, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Face-Sitting, Female Ejaculation, Fluff and Angst, Genderswap, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Multiple Orgasms, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Self-Esteem Issues, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Wet & Messy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:13:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22197622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyInTheSkye/pseuds/LucyInTheSkye
Summary: December 1979. On the other side of the same experience, Remus frets and gets a lot of compliments.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Sirius x Remus [27]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1483745
Comments: 2
Kudos: 81





	Survivor or: A Compliment A Day Keeps the Bad Thoughts Away

Remus had been thinking a lot about female Sirius. It had been otherworldly to the point Remus almost thought he must have dreamt it. Sleeping with her, rather than him, had been one of the most eye-opening experiences of his life, he was sure, although it had only been a day since then. Sirius had unsurprisingly been the most stunning creature possible when female, reality had actually surpassed Remus’s imagination on that one. And Sirius had apparently enjoyed it immensely; this exploring of the other side of the coin.

There had been two phials of the potion that changed the drinker into a woman. Remus still had the second one, and curiosity was killing him. That was how, when Sirius went to get milk and bread and smokes from the corner shop, Remus ended up going into their bedroom and getting undressed. He laid down on the hastily-made bed, phial in hand, watching the pearlescent liquid swirl. He downed it before he had time to overthink it, before he managed to have second thoughts. 

He felt it immediately. A tug and a warm throbbing sensation starting in his belly, moving outwards and spreading to his head and his limbs. He gasped and trembled, body contorting for several long moments until it suddenly stilled. Less than a second after that he whimpered and had to hide underneath the covers. He hadn’t expected to look anything as good as Sirius, of course he hadn’t. But still, this, his body… Because it _was_ his body. He didn’t even wish to look properly, just curled in on himself. He should have known, should have realized things would not improve for him just because he changed up his gender. He was lucky Sirius deigned to fuck him as a man, he really shouldn’t push his luck like this. What would he say if he saw that even a change to the fairer sex did nothing to improve Remus’s looks? 

To cap it all his hand accidently brushed his naked hip. He felt like crying, hand spasming and hiding underneath him. It felt like it had been burnt when it touched the old werewolf scar on his hip. Still there.

The minutes in the dark under the blankets felt like hours, but eventually he heard Sirius get back, shout a greeting, rummage around the kitchen. Then footsteps.

“Remus?”

A heavy weight made an indent right next to him, and Remus squirmed underneath the covers and forced the tears back. He had so wanted to be pretty for his lover.

Soft hands moved over his back, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t risk emerging from the blankets. Sirius’s hand stilled.

“You took the potion, didn’t you? Can I see?”

His voice was neutral, mostly. A little bit curious and a lot loving. Remus thought about it, then shrugged. Game over.

“There you are,” Sirius said gently, lifting the blanket down from his face. Remus blinked worriedly into the light. Sirius smiled at him, bent down and pressed their lips together. Remus kissed him back like it was a lifeline, an unexpectedly offered one that might just save him.

“Can I get naked and join you?” Sirius asked carefully. Remus didn’t want to stop kissing, some part of his brain had hoped that they could stay like this for as long as the effects of the potion lasted, kissing with the rest of Remus’s new body in hiding.

“Yes,” he said meekly. Couldn’t make himself say no to Sirius. Game over, right?

Sirius stripped, quick and efficient, and Remus stared at him with undisguised envy. 

Sirius gave him a would-be comforting smile as he lifted the blankets a little, and Remus shied away as best he could, tried to not let his lover see. His body felt so small like this, even more insignificant than usual. Bar the scar, of course. 

Sirius had drawn him in before he could figure out a way to avoid it, and he’d mashed their mouths together again before he could come up with a convincing lie to get him to let go and leave. Sirius’s lips were hungry this time, there was no other word for it.

Sirius’s hands moved over his back and waist, felt more of him in seconds than Remus had during the excruciating minutes of hiding. Sirius moaned, made a very good impression of someone who actually liked what was underneath their hands. It made Remus’s spine tingle. He rolled them over, put Remus on his back, Sirius’s much heavier body on top, most of his weight on an arm propping him up. Remus had spread his legs before he knew it, acting on some cursed instinct, he supposed. He was more than a little shocked when he felt Sirius grow hard, his dick resting on Remus’s thin stomach.

“What a perfect little thing you are,” Sirius told his nose giddily, gave him a few tiny kitten licks on the freckled tip. 

Remus frowned back in confusion.

“You’re all delicate, like a little bird,” Sirius continued, pressing the next kiss into Remus’s short, somewhat curly and altogether unruly hair. “Soft and skinny.”

Remus felt Sirius’s free hand over his ribs, which felt even more prominent than normal. Damaged skin and brittle bones, like something sickly. Then his breasts.

Remus half-sobbed, bent his neck to look. 

He hadn’t expected perfect melons, like the ones Sirius had ended up with after drinking the potion, but what he had now were modest in size and not quite symmetrical and not nearly as full as Sirius’s, nor as perky. His nipples looked hard and small, they almost looked angry. 

“Perfect handful,” Sirius continued decisively, like he had no eyes. “Fills my hands just right, don’t you think? Bet you anything these are sensitive as all hell.” He grazed the pad of his thumb over the red, pointy nipple. Remus shivered and had to stop himself from grinding his new, odd midsection into Sirius. Where had the liquid between his legs come from?

“Still freckly,” Sirius continued, voice full of approval, hand smoothing over the discoloured skin on Remus’s shoulder. “Bet every last one still tastes like chocolate and salted caramel.”

Sirius’s body quietened on top of him, holding most of his weight off Remus. His dick was bloated, resting on Remus. His eyes were as beautiful as things got in this world, thought Remus, and they were somehow looking at him.

Remus kissed him, let his lover brush away a stray tear from his cheek, let him make the kiss open and wet and filthy. Remus was definitely rubbing the sensitive bits between his legs on Sirius now, and eventually he took Sirius’s hand from where it was lovingly cupping his jaw, brought it all the way down between his legs. Shivered and kissed him hard, harder, hard as he could, and just left the hand there. Put his own hand on Sirius’s shapely, muscular waist instead. Could barely feel his ribs underneath that healthy layer of muscle. 

Remus moaned, almost yelled into his lover’s mouth. He knew Sirius was good, knew he’d know what to do down there, but it still took him by surprise. Perhaps he hadn’t expected this body to be any good at generating pleasure. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming, just-”

They were not sad tears, this time, and Remus bit harshly into Sirius’s bottom lip while he ground and ground his hips, clawed at Sirius’s side. Sirius’s fingers were right there, using just enough of the wetness to keep a bit of friction with the slippery slide. Remus could feel the same old core muscles working, recognized this as an orgasm even though it felt different. A different type of good. He sagged down, but his hips wouldn’t still, and Sirius kept rubbing, albeit more gently now. 

“Tell me when you want more pressure,” Sirius said. Remus stared at his beautiful face, his swollen bottom lip, mind in a daze. Sirius moved down, bringing the blankets down with him, too. He gave Remus’s breast a long, loving kiss. 

Remus closed his eyes and focused on the feeling. His libido was ridiculous as a man, so the greedy way his body reacted post-orgasm didn’t surprise him. Sirius was suckling on his nipple, and the hard little bud was throbbing in time with his new genitalia. Sirius managed to get up on his knees, still bent over Remus, and the second or two of lost contact between Sirius’s fingers and the throbbing thing Remus tentatively identified as his clitoris was enough to make him whine in distress. The hand came back, dragged some sticky wetness up and then continued rubbing. Sirius’s other hand was freed and found Remus’s neglected second nipple. 

“More,” Remus demanded, too into it all to even feel horrified about the nature of his voice. Sirius added more pressure _everywhere_. It possibly took even less in this body, Remus thought vaguely to himself. His hips jerked, the same muscles clenched, and he had to push Sirius’s face more firmly into his chest, wanted desperately to feel teeth.

Sirius gnawed gently all around, sharp scrapes over nipple and areola, and Remus spasmed again, feeling what could have been either another orgasm or the continuation of the last. 

“Can I eat you out?”

“Yes,” Remus replied immediately, his sex-brain cutting in before any of the more ruminant parts had time to consider it. 

“Thank you,” Sirius said, sounding so sincere it threw the ruminant parts of Remus’s brain right off. Then he was licked between his legs, really it felt like Sirius was trying to lap him up.

“So wet and ready.”

Remus mumbled something indistinct in agreement. He was sticky all the way to the insides of his thighs. His ever-curly pubes felt drenched. He had to grab hold of the sheets on his sides, because now Sirius was suddenly making a move for his clitoris, tongue teasing at first, but then he just took it in his mouth and sucked.

Remus’s eyesight went for seconds and his new voice was already hoarse from shouting out his orgasms. He never wanted it to stop. Sirius appeared to be in full agreement, relocating his tongue maybe an inch downwards to build up a new one. Remus clutched his sheets to him and focused on remembering how to breathe.

Sirius kept coming back for it, kept building up new ones. Remus lost count, which wasn’t a huge surprise since he sometimes did when he was equipped with a dick as well. When Remus had become completely incapable of telling when one orgasm finished an another one began, Sirius seemingly took the executive decision that he had had enough. The clock by the wardrobe told Remus that he’d received oral for over an hour.

Sirius crawled up his limp form, took him in his arms and made love to Remus’s lips, instead. His were sticky and swollen, but then that wasn’t uncommon. What was uncommon was that Sirius was still hard, his dick bright red and covered in dried tracks of pre-ejaculate. Staying hard for over an hour couldn’t be nice.

“You should-” Remus began, but he was interrupted by more kisses, more tongue, more hints of what his other half tasted like. He didn’t dare touch his lover’s prick, it really looked ready to go off at the slightest provocation.

Sirius kept cradling him, kept kissing him, kept stroking reverently over odd bits of his body. Remus let him, even let himself enjoy it a little. Sirius rubbed his breasts like they were fine, like it didn’t matter that they weren’t much to look at. His nipples remained as sensitive as ever, and at its peak Remus thought he might have orgasmed again, just from the way they were stimulated. The arousal and clenching between his legs were constant, like waves, and he couldn’t tell for sure anymore. 

“Would you like to try penetration, or should I continue with my mouth?”

“Can we try it, please,” Remus answered promptly, if a little breathless. His body kept telling him he felt good, drowning out the anxiety, and what with the kissing, and the fondling, and the thought of… Well. It was all a bit thrilling.

“I won’t last, just so you know,” Sirius said with a grin.

“You’re telling me,” Remus muttered, making his lover laugh. 

Remus laid down on his back before Sirius could ask how he wanted it. He couldn’t get more defenceless than this, and yet his body continued to have full trust in Sirius. Sirius, whose eyes looked like molten silver, like the sight before him was what got rid of the hard edges, he looked down and raked his eyes over Remus. Remus didn’t cover up.

“You get so wet it’s rather magnificent,” Sirius told him conversationally, rearranging Remus’s legs with the sort of lazy expertise that belied a lot of experience, “it really shouldn’t be at all painful for you. I’m pretty average, too, so nothing to worry about.”

“You’re _not_ average,” Remus said fiercely, realizing a beat later that Sirius was talking about penis size. He blushed crimson.

“You sound like my head of PR,” Sirius said with a grin, “or the voice in my head, as I like to call her.”

Remus licked his lips, felt Sirius’s soft hands underneath him stroking his behind, coming out, following the shape of his hips, then petting the inside crease of his thigh. Sirius bent his dick, and Remus held his breath as he felt it push against his centre. He moaned, and Sirius moaned with him, sinking in easily, easing his whole body down over Remus’s. 

“That’s nice!” Remus told him eagerly, immediately lifting his legs and wrapping them around his lover. 

“You feel so much better than just nice, love,” Sirius said, sounding strained, moving tragically little in what Remus presumed was an effort to not come.

“Yeah?” asked Remus, sounding more needy than he’d like, but he was bad at pretending with Sirius. 

“Yeah,” Sirius said emphatically. 

He drew out and thrust in, once, twice, three times. All slow, and all made Remus moan in delight. He felt full and content, even though it was a different type of contentment from what he was used to. He wasn’t close to climax like this, which did surprise him considering how effortlessly he had come and come before, but penetration was definitely his thing. He knew that already, and apparently his new hole was just as keen as the old one had been. Sirius upped the pace slowly, and they were getting there, Remus could feel something build… He moaned, feeling absolutely delighted with everything for once, and his lover was dealing frantic kisses all around his face, was hugging him close, his neck and his head, was covering him with his much bigger body. Remus took charge and mashed their mouths together. He felt Sirius’s orgasm hit the point of no return, tried to spread even wider, tried to work his own muscles in a last-ditch effort to make it tighter for his lover, not just wet. Because it was wetter than Remus had ever imagined this to be. He felt it all over his genitals, felt hot pulses of Sirius’s wetness releasing inside him, flooding his already soaked vagina. 

“You wonderful, bite-sized, darling thing,” Sirius told him, sounding completely out of it, but even so Remus drank the words in greedily, savoured them on his tongue, tasted them.

“I love you,” was all he had in return, all he ever seemed to be able to offer in return. Sirius smiled, rubbed the tips of their noses together. His dick was shrinking and softening, but Remus was still overflowing.

“Want to sit on my face?”

Remus blushed deeply, let himself be rolled over, only to land on top. Sirius dick slipped out completely.

“You’ll like it, right?” he asked, trying to steel his nerves. Knew the answer already.

“It’ll be my favourite thing today,” Sirius assured him. He was no good at pretending around Remus, either.

Remus got up on his knees, already feeling mortified because gravity was not kind to the mess of juices inside him. There was an embarrassing, fart-like noise, but Sirius overpowered it with a noise of his own, a hungry one. Remus placed himself over his lover, weight on his knees. He didn’t feel like squatting, didn’t know which leg-position was more appropriate for this sex act. Wondered if this even was a real sex act, a real thing other people did. Maybe it was just Sirius who liked it.

Sirius held his broad, bony hips, made him sink down. Sirius moaned into him when he obliged, and Remus just sat there, feeling shell-shocked more than anything. Sirius looked up at him, sometimes, his stunning grey eyes seemingly perfectly gratified. Sometimes he closed them and just moaned. Soon Remus’s arousal overpowered him, got used to the feeling of Sirius’s tongue scooping out semen from Remus’s soft, pliant body. 

After several mutually enjoyable minutes had gone by, Sirius’s hands took hold of Remus’s arse. His bottom was the only part that wasn’t particularly skinny, just like with the male version of his body. Sirius made several praising noises, lapped eagerly all over, even sucked Remus’s labia into his mouth, one after the other. Then he tipped Remus further forward, and Remus caught himself by grabbing the headboard in front, his whole body tilted into a new position. His new breasts felt even more exposed like this. Sirius kissed his clit, then sucked the whole nub into his mouth. Remus moaned, could feel a pooling of arousal down there. Sirius wiggled a hand underneath him, fucked two fingers into him, and after that Remus just thrust up and forward, then back, trying to keep his weight on his knees and steadying his balance with his hands on the wall. Sirius looked up at him with what appeared to be pride, looked at his small breasts dancing freely, slapping into his body when he thrust hard. His sweaty hair was bouncing too, and he was letting out a litany of noises, noises that might have been words or might have been pure nonsense. 

He came in waves, clenching around Sirius’s fingers, then winced because he felt something new now.

“I think I need to pee, sorry, you need to let me off…”

Sirius looked if possibly more elated, like this was a fantasy coming true for him. Even though he loosened his grip on Remus’s hip he still didn’t let go completely. He got his whole face out from underneath Remus, licking his lips.

“Hold on, hold on. We don’t have to do this, Remus, but I think there’s a chance that means you can come a bit differently. This one girl I was with years ago, she actually came buckets over me. A bit like piss, but more like water, no smell or anything.”

Remus made a small noise. Sirius still had fingers in him, was rubbing very, very gently against a spot that was making Remus feel quite desperate.

“You feel it right here, don’t you? Right where my fingers are.”

Remus nodded hesitantly.

“Would you try it for me? Just let go? And you know I don’t care if it _is_ piss, I’ll take it in my face, drink it out of you if you want. I will never think anything that comes out of your body is bad.”

Remus bit his lip. 

Sirius reached towards the bedside table, where Remus had left his wand before he downed the potion. There was a neat flick, and Remus felt some marginal difference on the bed he was sitting on.

“Won’t go through the mattress, whatever you give me,” Sirius explained. He was still rubbing Remus’s insides, and it really felt arousing as well as panicky. “If you want to do it?”

Remus nodded once, closed his eyes to avoid seeing it if it all went horribly wrong. Sirius placed soft kisses in front, his fingers stayed inside. His other hand held Remus steady by the waist.

Remus was sure it wouldn’t happen, and it didn’t, for several long seconds. He relaxed, prepared to tell Sirius it was a no-go, and that was when his body decided it could do it, after all. He felt a gush from his lady bits, yelped in surprise and sounded less like a lady in consequence. Sirius was trying to drink it all, then it stopped and Remus could feel him lapping, reverting to the dog he sometimes was. There was no bad smell at all.

Remus opened his eyes and looked down. Sirius’s tongue was running riot over his folds, his face was dripping with clear liquid. Remus let go again, watched his lover slurp and suck with a rare lack of finesse. It was a brilliant sight.

Sirius’s head was drenched by the time Remus’s new body finally couldn’t perform its trick anymore, but Sirius just kept kissing him, kept mumbling praise into his exposed privates. Remus didn’t have the strength to move, yet he also didn’t have the strength to remain upright. His body felt wrecked, but oddly enough his mind did not. He had survived it, maybe even given Sirius something good. Something desirable. Remus’s heart felt all soft and swollen.

“Bath?” Sirius suggested from between his legs, his mouth still more or less attached to Remus. Remus gave him a tired smile and nod.

Sirius carried him, in the end, which wasn’t nearly as impressive as usual because Remus weighed so much less than he normally did. He was able to curl up like a cat and rub his face into the safety of his lover’s broad chest and shoulders and neck, warm water and a heavy layer of bubbles all around. 

They had barely gotten settled before Remus’s body changed.

“Time’s up,” Sirius muttered lazily, as if it was something of little importance to him, then he bent down to try to kiss Remus mid-transformation. Remus stretched and leaned in hungrily, limbs growing longer and remaining skinny, mingled regret and relief settling over him like more sweet-smelling fumes from the tub. Today, he felt like a survivor.


End file.
